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Suggest a Feature →Parents & Guardians: What You Need to Know
Your child is considering the military. That deserves honest information, not a recruiting brochure. This page covers age rules, your rights as a parent, what to ask the recruiter, and what military life actually looks like — so you can have an informed conversation.
1-877-447-4487
Free, confidential counseling for recruits and families about military enlistment options. If something feels off with the recruiting process, call this number.
When parental consent is required
Can enlist in DEP (Delayed Entry Program). Cannot ship to basic training until age 17 with parental consent, or 18 without.
Legal adult. Enlistment is their decision. You can still be part of the conversation, but the legal authority is theirs.
Varies by branch: Army 35, Navy 41, Air Force 39, Marines 28, Coast Guard 31, Space Force 39.
USMA/USNA/USAFA: applicants must be 17–23 on July 1 of year of entry. Not married, not pregnant, and no dependents.
A parent or legal guardian must physically appear at the recruiting station or MEPS to sign consent forms. A scanned signature is not acceptable. You will be verifying the recruit's birth certificate and providing your own ID.
DEP: What it is and what it means for your family
- DEP is a holding status — your child enlists but doesn't ship immediately. Up to 12 months can pass before they report to basic training.
- Your child is not yet in the military during DEP. They have no active duty status, no pay, and no legal military obligation.
- They can leave DEP before their ship date. No criminal charges. No jail. They may lose any signing bonus, but they face no legal consequence for changing their mind.
- Recruiters may pressure them not to leave — this is their job. The legal facts are above. Consult the GI Rights Hotline (1-877-447-4487) if they face intense pressure.
- DEP meetings are optional but often pushed as mandatory. Your child can politely decline without legal consequence.
8 questions to ask the recruiter
Sit in on a recruiter meeting if your child will allow it. These questions separate honest recruiters from ones trying to fill a quota.
Why ask: Verbal promises don't count. The exact MOS code should appear in the enlistment contract before signing.
Why ask: Legal answer: they can exit DEP with no criminal consequences. A recruiter who says otherwise is wrong.
Why ask: Know what conditions could disqualify your child at MEPS. Don't let them go unprepared.
Why ask: There are no guarantees unless it's in the contract. "Probably Fort [X]" is not a commitment.
Why ask: If your child doesn't complete training or their commitment, they may owe the signing bonus back.
Why ask: Legitimate recruiters will let you read the contract. Pressure to sign immediately is a red flag.
Why ask: Failing fitness tests in basic training can result in being recycled (held back), which extends commitment.
Why ask: Entry Level Separation (ELS) within the first 180 days may or may not result in a discharge characterization.
The emotional reality for families
- Basic training is intentionally psychologically stressful — isolation, sleep deprivation, and constant pressure are features, not bugs
- Homesickness during basic training is universal and normal — there is no contact for 2–8 weeks depending on branch
- Your child will sound like a different person after basic — that's somewhat intended and somewhat passes
- Mental health history on medical forms must be disclosed honestly — undisclosed conditions that surface later can complicate discharge
- The military has mental health resources (Military OneSource, chaplains) but stigma remains real in many units
What military life actually looks like
Expect to move every 2–3 years on average. Your child may be stationed far from home. This is part of service — support systems matter.
Not all MOS deploy frequently. Combat arms, special operations, and aviation MOS deploy more. Support MOS vary significantly. Ask which jobs have high deployment rates.
No phone calls for the first 1–3 weeks typically. Letters are allowed (and important). After basic, communication normalizes.
Your child's commander has enormous authority over their daily life. That's the deal. Understand it before they sign.
Military OneSource (1-800-342-9647) provides free counseling and support for service members and their families. Use it.