What Korea Taught Me About Silence

There is a particular kind of silence that exists in a barracks room in a foreign country at 0300 when you can't sleep and don't have anyone to call.

I did a year in Korea. Unaccompanied tour, which means your family stays home and you go alone. My wife was eight months pregnant when I got on the plane. My daughter was walking by the time I got back.

This is not a complaint. Plenty of people have it worse. Plenty of people have done multiple combat deployments. A year in Korea is not that. It is, however, long. Longer than you think it will be when you sign the orders.

What I learned was that the Army takes a lot of things for granted that civilians don't even know exist. The assumption that you will be available. The assumption that your family will manage. The assumption that the mission — whatever the mission is — comes first, and everything personal comes after.

I don't regret my service. I do think we should be honest about what it costs. Not just the obvious costs. The quiet ones.